Never follow a stranger
Seven years ago, the school's choir group that I belonged to was invited to join the choir concert held in Havana, Cuba. Before departure, my friend asked me to buy "Cohiba", famous brand of Cuban cigar, for him, so when my group visited a traditional market in Havana, I started to look for the cohiba cigar. Since I was too concentrated to search for the present, I didn't realize that I was apart from the group. Then someone approached to me asking if I wanted to buy the cigars and he offered relatively cheap price. As I said yes, he asked me to follow. Without a doubt, I started to follow him and ended up being in a small room outside of the market. All of sudden, I was worried about being kidnapping and frightened. The man told me not to get nervous and would sell the cigar at fifty dollars. Although the price was higher than what I heard in the market, being scared of the situation, I immediately paid the money and ran out with the cigar; later I found out the cigar was fake. From the experience, I promised myself never ever again follow a stranger, especially abroad, who approaches to me with very tempting words.
Hi, this is Da-hyun Yang and it was scary but interesting story. The story flows naturally so that I read it easily. However, I think the second sentence is a too long. It would be better if you cut it in short sentences. Thank you !
ReplyDeleteHello! This is YoungHoon Kim. While reading your paragraph, I was feeling scary. Your fear at that moment is well written in the context. Also, what I liked about your writing is that it contains a lesson that people should not follow stranger. But I see a few grammar errors. Overall, it was a good writing!
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