Innovation in Education
Koreans are enthusiastic for education. You can see educational institutions all over the city and private education is one of the major industries in Korea. However there are a lot of problems in Korea's education and changes should be made. First of all, the government should make policies to lessen private education expenses. People spend too much money on private education and that harms their livelihoods. Another thing I think that should be corrected is that the fact that there are too many universities in Korea that don't work properly. Entering a university is so important in Korea that people go to universities that cannot provide good faculty and education. Those universities should be abolished or improved. The third problem is teaching and learning by rote. Students study hard just to get good notes and easily forget what they studied. Teachers also emphasize the importance of getting good notes and entering top class universities rather than emphasizing the importance of learning by itself. These are some problems of education in Korea and I think they should be corrected.
I liked your writing because your opinion about Korea education is well organized. You pointed out three main problems and also gave kind of solution to them. However, the sentence "Another thing I think~" is not easily understandable. Therefore you should rewrite it with other grammatical problems for whole. Also it would be better if you add a few sentences for the conclusion. Good writing!
ReplyDeleteHi! This is YoungHoon Kim. I think your writing is clear and easily understandable. You pointed out three things and they were good ideas. But I don't see any specific details. It would be better if you add some examples or anecdotes. Also, there are some grammartical problems. If you fix this, it would be a good paragraph.
ReplyDeleteInnovation in Education
ReplyDeleteKoreans are enthusiastic for education. You can see educational institutions all over the city and private education is one of the major industries in Korea. However there is a lot of problems in Korea's education and changes should be made. First of all, the government should make policies to lessen private education expenses. People spend too much money on private education and that harms their livelihoods. There are mothers having part-time jobs to pay the private institution fees. Second, I think what should be corrected is that the fact that there are too many universities in Korea that don't work properly. Entering a university is so important in Korea that people go to universities that cannot provide good faculty and education. Those universities should be abolished or improved. The third problem is teaching and learning by rote. Students study hard just to get good notes and easily forget what they studied. Teachers just emphasize the importance of getting good notes and entering top class universities rather than emphasizing the importance of learning by itself. These are some problems of education in Korea and it will take time and effot to fix them. However, we have to realize these problems and try to solve them.