Magic Moment
Suppose you are a band member and play in the rock club tonight, which will you want to play either in front of 200 people or in front of 2? Yes, you would probably like to play in front of many audience. I have once played in front of 2 audience in the rock club, Free Bird, located in the area of Hongik University when I was 21 years old. My position was vocal and rhythm guitar. At that time my team had played every Wednesday evening on the stage in that club. One day, one of my team members was late, so we had to play last turn. It was 10:50 p.m. when we were on stage. Huh, Wednesday 11! There are only two people. We disappointed, but simultaneously felt grateful for the 2. After the sound check, I said to the 2, "Now, we, the band members, are more than you, the audience, but your value is much more than twenty thousand's. And most of all, you all are female. If there is one beautiful female, we're gonna play our whole repertory with all our soul and might. Okay, let's go crazy!" Then we played until midnight. Finally, band members and 2 girls are all in sweat. After the night the 2 girls became friends and came to our concert together every Wednesday. The concert is the most fantastic memory in my life. When I am faced with a difficulty, I always think of this concert and say to myself, "You can change any hard situation to one of the memorable moments. Don't give up!"
Hi, this is Youna Lee.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your writing! Since I'm interested in band music a lot, I was moved by your writing more. What I liked about your writing is that you catched that magic moment so well! I could imagine you singing and playing the guitar enthusiastically in front of 2 audiences. I especially liked the sentence "You can change any hard situation to one of the memorable moments. Don't give up!".
However, 'And most of all, you all are female. If there is one beautiful female, we're gonna play our whole repertory with all our soul and might.' this sentence is not clear to me. If you change some of the expressions in other way, it would be much better. And if your topic sentence clarifuy what will the story will be, it would be much better too. Except those, I overally enjoyed your writing.
Thank you for reading my opinion :)
What an experience! I envy your magical moment. It's amazing that your band made the two sweat in excite. I think you described the dramatic moment well by the quotation of your shouting(it was a shouting, right?), and that all of them were sweating finally.
ReplyDeleteIf I have one small thing to point out, I think it's better to write the sentence "There are only two people. We disappointed,.." to "There were only two people. We were dissapointed,..."
Enjoyed your writing of your rocking moments, thanks!