Thursday, May 31, 2012

NamHye Kim/Narrative paragraph / Mon34

  Hardship in my childhood 

 

       Can you remember a special memory from your childhood? Maybe it will behard to remeber it, because we forget many of them. But, some memories are so strong that we can't forget up them. I can still remember my trip to Thailand with my father and grandmother. At that time I was 11 years old, and I was so young when I look back then. I think I remember that experience, because I remember it as so tough trip. It was a package tour with about 40 people, and 2 guide for sightseeing. As I mentioned earlier, I was with my father, and grandmother. This is becuase my older sister was a highschool student, so my mother stayed with her at home. So, although I'm a young girl, I went trip without care of mother. At first it was all good, because I could experience many wonderful attractions. Like riding on a elephant, unfamiliar Thai foods, a gay show, night markets and many unforgettable experiences. But as time goes on, we all became tired and sensitive to each others.Maybe this is because the weather was so hot . In addition to that, the schedule of trip was so tight and intensive that we couldn't sleep enough and rest. We had to sleep at Bus while moving to another place. So, we 3 started to arguing each other. I just cried and missed my mother very much. Niether father and grandmother can't take care of me better than my mother. There's nobody I can depend on, and who soothed me. Finally , We 3 ended our trip safely and came back to our home. After that when I think back about my previous trips I can never forget trip to Thailand. Because it was very tough and lonely trip.

2 comments:

  1. Hello, Namhye.
    As a little girl, you have ever had good experience. In your trip, you felt very tough and lonely, then what did you gain from the trip? Memorable trip changes something better or worse. If you show us that you found out, this paragraph will be improved. And why don't you change the title? This title is too general. Focus on something more specific.
    This semester, I read your many paragraph, and I thought you have talent to write. Practice more and spend more time to write, and you will be a good writer. (glaube ich^^)
    Bye.

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  2. Hello, I enjoyed reading your writing. Your main point seems clear, having hardship while traveling because your mother was not in presence, and your emotion is expressed well, too. Overall I think your context is interesting and good, many grammartical errors bothered me while reading your writing. Thus, your writing will be much improved with those grammartical error fixed. Thank you!

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