| Best City Ever
Where do you live right now? Are you satisfied with your city? Is it the city you want to live in for the rest of your life? Most people would say no to these questions. It's because most people live in their cities not because they love them, but because they have certain kinds of purposes such as business, or schools. The best city should be the one that a person would want to live for the rest of his or her life. When someone asks me these questions, I definitely choose Jeju island. My father's family live in Jeju island, so I visit there often and I always find Jeju island attractive. First of all, I like the weather. It's warm and relaxing. Also, the environment is exotic.It makes me feel like being in a different country. Second, Jeju island has terrific natural beauty. The island has both mountain and ocean. You can go hiking today and swimming tomorrow. Lastly, it's comforting. Big cities like Seoul or Busan are always noisy and there are too many people. However, Jeju island has less population which is perfect for people who want to live in a quiet, relaxing city. Therefore, Jeju island is the best city people could live for a long, long time. |
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Oh You Jeong/Best city/mon34
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I liked your writing espeically the first part, because it is interesting enough to hook the readers. Also you wrote well-organized opinions. However, it would have been better if you included some experiences you have had in Jeju island. In addition, some sentences are too short to give information. Overall, good piece of writing!
ReplyDeleteGood writing! Asking readers some questions, you effectively attracted them. It is a very good strategy. However, I would like to give some suggestions. You divided your opinion into three sections, but some are irrelevant. In the first section, you said weather and nature simultaneously. You need to divide this section or send the part where you said exotic nature to the second section. I know that in the last section, you tried to combine quietness and population into comforting. But it would be better if you divided it into two sections. I am not sure if my advice is right. Just think about it once, and improve your work by yourself. I also want to live in Jeju. You are lucky because you have relatives there. Bye.
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