A Possession That Is Important To Me
In my wardrobe I have many clothes. I have several jeans, shirts, skirts, coats, jumpers, dresses and so on. Among such many types of clothes there is only one item that has special meaning to me. That is a simple white T-shirt. The T-shirt is just an ordinary piece of clothing. It is white and medium sized. Drawing of the Eifel Tower and silhouettes of people are printed in front of the T-shirt. There is nothing special about this white T-shirt. However, it is very special to me. It is a T-shirt that is designed and actually made by my younger sister. She made this for my birthday present. When she first gave it to me and told me that she made it, I was very impressed and touched. So every time I wear the clothes I think about the efforts my sister made to create it.
Hello~ It was really happy to read your writing. What I like about your writing is that the story was touching and you descirbed it with vivid expressions so that I can concentrate more on your writing. Your main point seems to be the simple, ordinary white T-shirt has special meaning on you as it was made by your younger sister and it was your birthday present. I like the word 'touched' in your writing, because it well expresses the impact of your feeling.
ReplyDeleteI think almost every sentence is clear, but the sentence 'When she first gave it to me and told me that she made it.' is not clear to me. I understood what you wanted to say, but if it changed to like 'She gave it to me on my birthday and says ', it would be better I think.
Also, I think it would be more vivid and touching writing if you explain your feeling about T-shirt more specifically. I feel that part is quite short.
Thank you for reading my comment. :)
Hello , it is very surprised that your important possession and mine is similar. Actually, for me important possession is clothe.
ReplyDeleteSo, it was easy to understand how your T-shirt is important you.
Because your sister had made it to you. In my opinion, You describe your possession very specifically.Especially it's visual image was very well described, and it helps reader to visualize T-shirt more easily.But it would be better if you write more reasons about why you like your possession. I think this part is short. But I sympathize with yout writing and I like your describing.
In my wardrobe I have many clothes. I have several jeans, shirts, skirts, coats, jumpers, dresses and so on. Among such many types of clothes there is only one item that has special meaning to me. That is a simple white T-shirt. The T-shirt is just an ordinary piece of clothing. It is white and medium sized. Drawing of the Eifel Tower and silhouettes of people are printed in front of the T-shirt. There is nothing special about this white T-shirt. However, it is very special to me. It is a T-shirt that is designed and actually made by my younger sister. She made this for my birthday present. When she first gave it to me telling me that she made it, I was very impressed and touched. I asked her how she made it. She told me she worked in thr Visual Arts room and got help from the V.A. teacher. So every time I wear the clothes I think about the efforts my sister made to create it. It reminds me of how much my sister loves me and cares about me. It warms my heart. This is the reason why I like the T-shirt so much!
ReplyDelete