| I was born in Seoul, Korea and have lived in here for more than 20 years. When I was middle school, I really enjoyed playing with my friends all day long. And I also was a fan of idol star, so I liked to listening to their music and watching their videos. When I was 17, I entered "Dongguk Girl's High School" and I met my best friends in my high school lives. My friends and I used to go to my house to play with, and then my mother made delicious meal for us. In 2009, I entered HUFS and I am majoring in economics and double majoring in EIT. Cause now I am senior in HUFS, I am trying hard to get my future job. |
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Kyeong-eun Lee/ My Life Until Now
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Hi, I'm Park Ji Eon.
ReplyDeleteWhat I like about this piece of writing is that you are saying exactly what you think. But I don't know what your main point is...it just the arrangement of facts. Because your writing is short..I think there are few things i can talk about your writing. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is make your what you want to say and write a little bit longer.
Hi, my name is Park Tae Jun and enjoyed reading your writing.
ReplyDeleteYour writing was simple, yet pretty interesting to read. I liked your story of inviting friends to your house and enjoyed delicious meals your mother cooked for them, because I liked playing with friends at my house, too. What could be improved in this writing is that there's no topic in this paragraph; simple arrangement of facts. Since there was a point that you wanted to focus on, sentences seem a bit unorganized. If you can pick a "specific topic" and write about it, I'm assured that you can write a better paragraph.
I was born in Seoul, Korea and have lived in here for whole my life. My life until now can be expressed by "friends". When I was 5, I lived in an apartment, and my first friend lived right above house of my home. She had been my best friend in my whole elementary school lives. When I was attending a middle school, I met two friends whose names are Jyeong-yoon and Hye-rim. We played very often and we are still in good relationship until now. When I was a hish school student, all of my priority was stydying and getting admitted in the university; and I had good friends and we shared the common goals. I have one memorious thing with them. After studying, the girls and I used to go to my house together, and my mother made delicious food for us. I was really happy to have such friends in my youth. In 2009, I entered HUFS, Department of Economics, and I also met good friends and am making good relationship with them. I hope these friendship will last for a long time.
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