| "My Life Until Now"
My life could be very interesting or boring depends on how people look at it. Although, myself I think it's pretty fascinating and worth to listen for it. I was born at Seoul, Korea at a very normal family. Maybe little different thing would be my parents loved traveling around, so I believe that me and my brother could enlarge our knowledge and experience more than our peer groups did. When I was young, I used to be a very shy and quiet girl. I was a real introvert person and always tried to be common rather than showing up myself. Due to such personality, my life wasn't that much attractive until I went Canada to study English. I stayed there about two years and went to elementary school. Definitely I learned English a lot and moreover I had a chance to experience western cultures by living there. Through this experience, I became an outgoing and social person which it was a great turning point of my life. After coming back from Canada I went to middle and high school and studied to go to university as most of Korean students do. Eventually I got permitted to the HUFS and here I am listening to English writing class. |
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Jean Park/ My LIfe Until Now/ Mon34
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What I like about your writing is that the words are used appropriately and the stroy is very interesting. Also I think the organization of the sentences are great~
ReplyDeleteYour main point seems to be your memorable experiences at Canada.
I got struck by these particular words 'I became an outgoing and social percon which it was a great turning point of my life'. I like them because they show the fact that you changed to optimistic way.
This part,which is that 'so I believe that me and my brother~our peer groups did', was not clear to me because I think this part missed supporting points.
I think this writing is overall great, but I'm curious about more specific details.
Thank you~
To Jean Park, from Kyoung-min Kim.
ReplyDeleteI was fascinated from the start of your writing because I could see that you were going to be honest throughout your writing. It's true that a work writen public should interest the readers, but after reading yours, I realized what's more important is being yourself and telling things frankly.
I got struck by the phrase " I was a real introvert person and always tried to be common rather than showing up myself.", because I thought it really describes introverts well.
I was also interested in the story that your personality changed throughout your life. I think you are mainly talking about the improvement of your character and that you like the change.
Enjoyed reading it, thank you!
2nd draft of "My Life Until Now"
ReplyDeleteMy life could be very interesting or boring depends on how people look at it. Although, myself I think it's pretty fascinating and worth to listen for it. I was born at Seoul, Korea at a very normal family. Maybe little different thing would be that my parents loved traveling around, they took me and my brother to lots of places and showed us various things. I believe those experiences helped me and my brother to enlarge our knowledge and experiences more than our peer groups did at that age. When I was young, I used to be a very shy and quiet girl. I was a real introvert person and always tried to be common rather than showing up myself. Due to such personality, my life wasn't that much attractive until I went Canada to study English. I stayed there about two years and went to elementary school. Definitely I learned English a lot and moreover I had a chance to experience western cultures by living there. Through this experience, I became an outgoing and social person which it was a great turning point of my life. After coming back from Canada and until now I'm satisfied with my characteristics and I believe that it became one of my advantages.