| "TV, Could You Live without It?"
201101481 Jean Park
Since the television has been invented, it became very crucial in our lives. According to the statistics, Americans usually watch TV about 6 hours a day and this is the number that we cannot ignore. Also I personally enjoy watching TV, especially dramas and documentaries and I can't really imagine my life without a television. Despite the fact that people rely a lot on TV, I believe there wouldn't be any terribly serious problems if the television is gone. It's true that television is providing us lots of advantages like we're able to know what's happening in the world by TV news, having enjoyable time by watching some comedy programs. Although television also has a negative effects, for example, people waste too much time only watching TV and that's usually an entertaining programs. Moreover, if we look at TV as means of communication with others, there is an internet which it's used more often these days. As I mentioned before, television is definitely a great invention that improved people's lives. I think, however, television is not that necessary when we live our life. |
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Jean Park/ TV, could you live without it?/ Mon34
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To Jean park
ReplyDeleteFrom Da-hyun Yang
What I like about this writing is that you used the statistic so that I could understand easily how much tv takes a large part of our lives. The last sentence struck me as powerful because you mentioned your opinion again and it makes me know your opinion clearly. And your writing was easy to read because connection between the sentences was natural. But too much reversals in your writing make me confused to know what your exact opinion was. And it would be better if you wrote more about your specific experiences about tv. But for those points, I really enjoyed reading your writing. Thank you !
Rewriting second draft.
ReplyDeleteJean Park
Since the television has been invented, it became very crucial in our lives. According to the statistics, Americans usually watch TV about 6 hours a day and this is the number that we cannot ignore easily. I also personally enjoy watching TV, especially dramas and documentaries. It was my daily routine to watch dramas every night which it meant a leisure time for me. Since television actually provided a time for me to rest, I can't really imagine my life without it. Despite the fact that people including me rely a lot on TV, I believe there wouldn't be any serious problems if the television is vanished. It's true that television has provided us lots of advantages like we're able to know what's happening in the world by TV news, having enjoyable time by watching some comedy programs. Although television also has a negative effects, for instance, people waste too much time only watching TV and that's usually an entertaining programs. Moreover, if we look at TV as means of communication with others, there is an internet which it's used more often these days. As I mentioned before, television is definitely a great invention that improved people's lives. I think, however, television is not that necessary when we live our life.