| My Special Possession
Jean Park
There are several possessions that I think it's special and very meaningful to me. Although among those things a piece of white shirt is the most precious possession that I own. This white shirt is not luxurious or exclusive but it's just a cheap clothes that you can buy anywhere. However, what's printed on that shirt makes it so important to me: the signature and a little messages from my Canadian friends. When I was in elementary school, I stayed at Canada about two years to study English. Those two years were unforgettable time because I made so many great memories and met lots of kind people. When I had to left Canada and go back to Korea, I was really sad and felt depressing because I had to leave all my friends. My friends wanted to give me a very special gift and they prepared a shirt and made my classmates to write a good bye message for me. I still cannot forget the moment when I received the present and cried so much, not wanting to leave my friends and also thankful to them for giving me such a meaningful gift. Even these days, whenever I look at that shirt, it reminds me of pleasant time that I spent in Canada. Thus, this white shirt with my friends' messages is so crucial and I would never forget my feelings toward the shirt. |
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Jean Park/ My Special Possession/ Mon34
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Hi, this is Park Tae Jun, and overall your writing was very good! You have your specific topic sentence that you will write about the white T-shirt. Also your writing provided clearly about the background information about the possession and why it is important to you. One thing that could improve this piece of writing is to add more specific words to describe about the T-shirt. Since this week's writing was about using specific words to describe a thing, you could've use those words. The concluding sentence well emphasizes your main idea. Nice writing!:)
ReplyDeleteHi! I'm Oh You Jeong
ReplyDeleteI really like your memories about the whit shirt. I'm also very impressed that you had such a wonderful friends back in Canada. I especially liked the last sentence. It was very touchy. I think you did a pretty good job telling us how you got the white shirt and why it's so important to you. I could definitely admit that it would be your favorite possession. One thing though, it would have been much better if you had described the appearance of your shirt specifically. I wanted to draw it in my head and it didn't really wok out. But overall I really liked reading your writing!