I was born in Seoul, 23 December 1992. My mother said that it was snowing heavily so, that's the why I like winter especially snowy day. I live in Ilsan. It takes about 2 hours to reach school. Thus to commute is very tough, but I prefer live with my family. Because I don't want to do anything alone. In spare time, I usually listen to musics and sing along. I like music very much, therefore I joined a club of chanson in my department. These days, in that club, I'm preparing a concert. I sing 5 songs for it. The practice is very hard and it makes me to warn out. But I believe this experience would make me more stronger and more responsable person. Also it gives me precious souvenir about university life. If you read this please come to our concert, this Friday at 7 p.m. , and Saturday 4 p.m. at BRICs Hall. What I want to really say to you is that my life is very active and happy.
YoungHoon Kim
ReplyDeleteWhat I like about your writing is that you described what you like specifically.
But advertising your concert may seem akward.
Anyway, it was good to know you.
What I like about your writing is that you explained your preferences and likes in detail. And your main points seems to be the things that you like, and club performance preparing.
ReplyDeleteI like the sentence 'My mother said that it was snowing heavily so, that's the why I like winter especially snowy day'. Because I could imagine that moment lively just reading this sentence.
Your overall writing is good, but the last sentence seems that it concludes the writing too quickly.
May be some parts will need improving, I liked your writing.
Thank you~
I was born in Seoul, 23 December 1992. My mother said that it was snowing heavily so, that's the why I like winter especially snowy day. I live in Ilsan. It takes about 2 hours to reach school. Thus to commute is very tough, but I prefer live with my family. Because I don't want to do anything alone. In spare time, I usually listen to musics and sing along. I like music very much, therefore I joined a club of chanson in my department. Also I like exercising, for exemples walk the streets with dog, exercise in fitness center, and doing Hapkido. Most of my life is very active and happy.
ReplyDelete