TV: Could you live without it?
I do not think I can live without TV. Living without TV would be stressful and make the conversation with others less interesting. First, I use TV as my stress reliever. I usually go back to my home 10 o'clock and during the day time, I have very few things to getting rid of my stress. Chatting with friends could be a substitute for TV, but it's not always possible because nowadays I and my friends have no time to talk with. Therefore, watching funniest TV shows after my day-works done only makes me laugh and relieves my stress. Second, lagging behind TV show trends would make my conversations with people less enjoyable. In Korea, there are big trends made by TV gag shows like "Gag concert," or "Comedy Big League"; if one does not catch the trend, he or she might feel isolated because such things account for big parts in many Korean youths' conversations. So, how could I live without TV? I cannot live "Enjoyable Life" without TV.
My name is Park, Hee-june. What I liked about this writing was that the organization with number, so I can read more easily. Your main point seems to be living without TV is impossible.However, I don't understand 4th and 5th paragraph. It seemed complex. I want you to explain more clearly. Well, other things are very clear. Thanks for your writing. ^^
ReplyDeleteHello, I'm Hakyung Chin.
ReplyDeleteIt was really comfortable to read your paragraph because you suggested to main points and then supported the points. Also, it is logical and persuasive too.
However, it would have been better if you changed the first point from 'a benefit of TV' to 'what will happen if you don't have a TV.' And I think maybe two points aren't enough. Three balances the whole paragraph.
Thank you for your writing, I enjoyed reading it.
TV: Could you live without it?
ReplyDeleteI do not think I can live without TV. Living without TV would be stressful and make the conversation with others less interesting. First, if I do not have TV, I could not relieve most of my stress. I usually go back to my home 10 o'clock, and during the day time, I have very few thing which get rid of my stress. Rather than TV, I might chat with my friends to get out of stress, but sadly, me and most of my friends are busy doing their study, so I cannot have a good time with them. Therefore, watching funniest TV shows after my day-works done only makes me laugh and relieves my stress. Second, if I do not have TV, I would be lagged in youths' trends and conversations with people would be less enjoyable. In Korea, there are big trends made by TV gag shows like "Gag concert," or "Comedy Big League"; if one does not catch the trend, he or she might feel isolated because such things account for big parts in many Korean youths' conversations. Third, without TV, I could not watch the baseball plays that I like very much. So, how could I live without TV? I cannot live "Enjoyable Life" without TV.