I've had many extraordinary experiences that other people hardly can experience. After graduation of middle school, I went to a private high school in Saskatchewan, Canada where I lived with friends from all over the world from Germany to Argentina. I was an active member of choir in my high school, and my choir team was officially invited to do concerts in Cuba by Cuban government, so I could spend a week in Cuba. Cuba officially prohibits travelers from Korea, so it was a rare opportunity for me to go to Cuba and enjoy the beautiful beach and Cuban food. After graduation from high school, I got a chance to live in Santa Monica, CA where I could enjoy the beautiful weather and west coast beach. When I enlisted in the army, I was selected as a specialist in English-Korean translation and interpretation, so I could work with US air force members in a same office. In addition, last year when I was in Japan for studying purpose, I experienced the great earthquake which was occurred last year on 11st of March, it was the most terrifying moment that I've had in my life. In conclusion, my life until now was full of exciting events and I'm thrilled to face more of them in the future.
Nayeon Kwon_The story is very interesting and was easy to read. But i think some sentences are too long :)
ReplyDeleteI'm Oh You Jeong.
ReplyDeleteWhat I like about your writing is that you have experienced so many rare things that other people couldn't experience. I especially got interested in the part when you went to cuba. Your main point definitely seems to be about these rare experiences. The last sentence, your conclusion actually struck me powerfully. You said you're thrilled to face more of them in the future. I liked it because you seemed so passionate about them. I like your writing very much but it would have been much better if you had written your "experiences" a little bit more specifically. It's because the readers would be curious about your story and they might want to know more about it.
I’ve had many extraordinary experiences that other people hardly can experience. After graduation of middle school, I went to a private high school in Saskatchewan, Canada where I lived with friends from all over the world from Germany to Argentina. I was an active member of choir in my high school, and my choir team was officially invited to do concerts in Cuba by Cuban government, so I could spend a week in Cuba. Cuba officially prohibits travelers from Korea, so it was a rare opportunity for me to go to Cuba and enjoy the beautiful beach and Cuban food. Cuba gave me a similar image of around 70’s of Korea that I only saw by pictures: old cars, old buildings, old-fashioned clothes. After graduation from high school, I got a chance to live in Santa Monica, CA where I could enjoy the beautiful weather and west coast beach. When I enlisted in the army, I was selected as a specialist in English-Korean translation and interpretation, so I could work with US air force members in a same office. In addition, last year when I was in Japan for studying purpose, I experienced the great earthquake which was occurred last year on 11st of March, it was the most terrifying moment that I’ve had in my life. After the explosion of Fukushima nuclear power plant, I decided to fly back to Korea, being concerned about radioactivity. However, it was difficult to get the ticket because all foreigners living in Japan were rushing out from Japan at that time. Luckily, I could get the flying ticket and come back to Korea. In conclusion, my life until now was full of exciting events and I’m thrilled to face more of them in the future.
ReplyDelete