< love and hatred relationship >
My favorite relative is my cousin. She is three years older than me and has similar characteristics to me. Her family lives in New Zealand, so I have been there when I was 11 years old for about a month. I have to share a room with her only because she was the youngest of her family. At that time, we became like sisters german, but also fought a lot. The night before I came back to Korea, we fought again for the reason that I did not wash the dishes even though it was my turn. I know the reason was too childish but we were serious at then. Thus we did not contact for few years after then. When I became 18, however, she came to my home to live for a while because she entered the university in Korea. Likewise, we have to share the room together again, but we did not fight anymore. I think it was because we both are not young anymore to fight for such a small reason. Instead, we talked a lot. At then I had a turbulent adolescence, thus I had a both external conflict with my mom and emotional conflict created in my mind. My cousin became a wise mediator between my mom and me. Since out age gap was no so big, we could speak the same language, different to my conservative mom. Whenever I was in trouble with friends or family, she gave me a lot of mature advices. Sometimes she gave an allowance and we also shared our clothes. Now she lives separately from me, in front of her university, however we meet often and talks a lot. She is not only my favorite relative, but also my best friend until now and maybe now and forever.
Hi, Da-hyun, your writing has mysterious power that makes readers carefully listen to your warm-hearted voice. From such a sincere relationship you described, our life gets energy to run forwards. What I like about this work is clear contrast. Hate vs. love, childhood vs. now, misunderstanding vs. understanding, New Zealand vs. Korea, external conflict vs. emotional conflict, and so on. Using contrast helps me take the clear point you want to give. And there are many good episodes that show the firm friendship between you and your cousin. I don't have any good relationship with my relatives, so I envy you. I know that I need to find something that should be improved in order to help you, but I couldn't find any big problems in your writing. I feel sorry for that. Someday next time, I will shoot severe criticism FOR you.^^ Bye, girl who experienced turbulent adolescence.
ReplyDeleteHelli dahyun I am hakyung.
ReplyDeleteI like that your story tells the ups and downs in your relationship with your cousin. You compared well the difference between when you were little and then when you were a little older. I agree its not easy to share a room and go along with sisters. So it was interesting to read.
2nd draft ; Da-hyun Yang
ReplyDelete< love and hatred relationship >
My favorite relative is my cousin. She is three years older than me and has similar characteristics to me. Her family lives in New Zealand, so I have been there when I was 11 years old for about a month. I have to share a room with her only because she was the youngest of her family. At that time, we became like sisters german, but also fought a lot. The night before I came back to Korea, we fought again for the reason that I did not wash the dishes even though it was my turn. I know the reason was too childish but we were serious at then. Thus, we did not contact for few years after then. When I became eighteen years old, however, she came to my home to live for a while because she entered the university in Korea. Likewise, we have to share the room together again, but we did not fight anymore. I think it was because we both are not young anymore to fight for such a small reason. Instead, we talked a lot. At then I had a turbulent adolescence, thus I had a both external conflict with my mom and emotional conflict created in my mind. My cousin became a wise mediator between my mom and me. Since our age gap was no so big, we could speak the same language, different to my conservative mom. Whenever I was in trouble with friends or family, she gave me a lot of mature advices. Sometimes she gave an allowance to me and we also shared our clothes. Now she lives separately from me, in front of her university, however we meet often and talk a lot. She is not only my favorite relative, but also my best friend until now and maybe now and forever.