I have a place that I can describe it only from memory, with joy. It's my dormitory where I've lived during my high school days, from 2006 to 2008. It was a white building with the sign "D-dorm", facing the school, across the school yard. The building leads to underground where there are each student's habitats. Though we went down stairs it wasn't really underground, because the dorm was built on the side of the mountain. Entering the room, there was a bathroom and a shower booth on each side. And inside the room, there were four desks for each of us. The desks had its' own bookshelf. Above the desk, there was the bed. We'd climb up the ladder to go to bed. It was fun to face the ceiling as I went up the ladder. I had a pink and white blanket with flower shaped sewing. The window of the room was very wide. It occupied the whole wall side. Through the window, we could see trees and the view of the town seen from above. In day time the sunlight would light up the entire room. It was so cozy and warm. On weekends, when my roommates left for their houses, I'd be in the dorm alone. I remember the day being so quiet that I could hear school bell ringing from the near elementary school. Every morning, there came out a music which were the requests of the students in the dorm. If it was one of the student's birthday, they'd turn out the song "Happy birthday to you". Every detail I remember about the dorm makes me miss it so much.
To Kyungmin Kim
ReplyDeleteFrom DaHyun Yang
Your intention of describing every details of your dormitory in one paragraph was just great and it is well introduced to readers. However, few sentences did not really come easily and naturally to me. I can see what you are trying tell to readers but it is not clear enough to just read it through. It would be great descriptive paragraph if you can fix those sentences.
Hi, my name is Kyeong-eun Lee. I really enjoyed your writing! You explained about your dorm where you lived in your highschool days; I could imagine the outline of the room and the feeling you have for the dorm room. It was interesting the operator of the dorm used to turn of the "Happy birth day to you " song. However, I think it's a little bit long for a paragragh so if you shorten this paragrath, it would be more readible. Thank you for writing.
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