A place I would like to describe is my room. After my family moved to live out of Seoul city, I've been living by myself in a small one-room house including one bedroom and bathroom. When I walk into my room, I can see one bed, desk, chair, closet and refrigerator. This room's size is about a quarter size of our classroom. Also there's a big one meter tall window over desk, on the opposite side of door. The bed is a single-size bed with purple pillow covering the mattress. The desk is made of brown wood and it's about one meter wide. On the desk, there's my black lap top, a small desk calendar and textbooks filed up by the lap-top. Below the desk, there's also a brown three- story drawer. Color of wallpaper is white so that the room seems bright at night when light is on. Usually when I stay still in my house, it's very silent so that I can hardly anything from outside, except for sometimes a female living next to my room making phone calls with very loud voices. Walking into my room, I smell flower scent because I put an air freshener on the desk.
Hello. I'm Hakyung Chin.
ReplyDeleteYou made it clear what your topic is in the first sentence. What I liked about your paragraph is that you moved on from the big parts to the details. I could clearly imagine what your room would look like. It was easy to imagine the size because you compared it to the size of the classroom.
This is HanByol Kim. I can visualize what you want to show to your readers by your detailed description. I liked the way you tried to use all five senses. However, I would have been nice if you descirbe 'smell' in more detail. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteA place I would like to describe is my room. After my family moved to live out of Seoul city, I've been living by myself in a small one-room house including one bedroom and bathroom. When I walk into my room, I can see one bed, desk, chair, closet and refrigerator. This room's size is about a quarter size of our classroom. Also there's a big one meter tall window over the desk on the opposite side of door. The bed is a single-size bed with purple pillow covering the mattress. The desk is made of brown wood and it's about one meter wide. On the desk, there's my black lap top, a small desk calendar and textbooks filed up by the lap-top. Below the desk, there's also a brown three- story drawer. Color of wallpaper is white so that the room seems bright at night when light is on. Usually when I stay still in my house, it's very silent so that I can hardly anything from outside, except for sometimes a female living next to my room making phone calls with very loud voices. Walking into my room, I smell flower scent of the Febreze because I put an air freshener on the desk. Having been lived in this room for 8 months, now this place has become my-own-space that makes me feel comfortable and relaxing.
ReplyDelete