The best doctor in my memory
What does it take to be a good physician? People might have different opinions about this; some might say superior skill, kindness, reputation, etc. I think a doctor who is kind to his or her patients is a good physician. I've met many doctors since I was a weak child. To me, doctors were scary figures because they always gave injections and made me painful. Also, they always had serious and dark faces which scared me even more. However, one doctor, even though I can't remember his name, at Hospital of Seoul National University was an exceptional doctor. Whenever I met him, he always had a smile on his face and asked me what was going with me. Not only that, unlike other doctors, he spent ten to fifteen minutes for telling explanations to me and my parents about the illness I had and things I had to beware of very specifically. When I was hospitalized for a month, he came to see me at least twice a day to see if I was alright. Other doctors made their rounds too since they were duty, but I could feel the doctor's caring emotion unlike other doctors. Also, when I was to leave the hospital, he gave me a toy for present. Although I never met him again, I strongly believe that he, who was kind to his patients, was definitely a good physician.
Hello, Taejun. It was very good writing. I really want to meet such a great physician. Unfortunately, many doctors are not so kind and have a perfunctory attitude. I agree with you that being kind to the patients is the most important thing that doctors should have. It was particularly good to talk about your personal episodes. Owing to that, I could see a definite picture you portrayed. But, in my opinion, it is appropriate to give a separation in front of ‘However’ at 5th low. After the ‘However’, you successfully showed your point, as your own story was used. Why don’t you concentrate on that section? Prologue, which is in the front section, is not really necessary in this kind of paragraph. Just say that you know a person who is not similar with others, and say your episodes, and say your conclusion. It would be enough. Then, see you next time.
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Hi, it was good to read your writing. First of all, I like that you start with a questioning about the qualification of a good physician and then concluded with your own conclusion. And also I like that you specified the reason why you were scary of other doctors. I think there is no need to delete, add or change something, however, some grammatical mistakes made me read not fluently. For example, in the 9th line, 'what was going with me' should be better if you add 'on' between the word 'going' and 'with'. Except these few mistakes, I think your writing was clear enough to read :)
What does it take to be a good physician? People might have different opinions about this; some might suggest superior skill, kindness, reputation as a qualification of a good physician. In my opinion, a doctor kind to his or her patients is a good physician. I've met many doctors because I was a weak child. To me, doctors were scary figures because they always gave injections and made me painful. Also, they always had serious and dark faces which scared me even more. However, one doctor, even though I can't remember his name, at Hospital of Seoul National University was an exceptional doctor. Whenever I met him, he always had a smile on his face and asked what was going on with me. Not only that, unlike other doctors, he spent ten to fifteen minutes for telling explanations to me and my parents about the illness I had and things I had to beware of very specifically. When I was hospitalized for a month, he came to see me at least twice a day to check if I was alright. Other doctors made their rounds too since those were duty, but I felt the doctor's caring emotion unlike other doctors. Also, when I was to leave the hospital, he gave me a toy for present. Although I never met him again, I strongly believe that he, who was kind to his patients, was definitely a good physician.
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