Who is Joan ?
I had lots of chances to introduce about my basic information, but to describe myself, I would define me as an active person. For example, I took a role as a leader wherever I went even in kindergarten days. I tried to play fairly with friends and shared all my toys. From elementary to high school, coping with all the classmates as a class president was my usual life. I enjoyed playing with new, various friends through participating in club activities and camps in adolescence. Thinking that diverse experiences are important for enriching my life, taking parts in volunteering programs, contests and traveling around the world are what I pursue and practice until now since middle school. I'm a person who makes chances not just waiting for them to come without putting any efforts. Now that I'm a university student, I'll create plenty of chances and activate all the time to become a global leader.
Hello,I'm Song eun Ko. You introduced yourself an active person. There were several proper examples, from your childhood until now, that show you are very active and challenging!! And my favorite part of your writing is "I'm a person who makes chances not just waiting for them to come without putting any efforts." This sentence seems to support what you think about yourself well. However, your writing will be better if you add one or two interesting episodes. It was very nice to know about you~!!
ReplyDeleteThis is YoungHoon Kim. It was interesting to know about you through examples. With these examples, I could understand why you are an active person. But I was curious about what you did in particular. I mean that it was not specific enough to tell your trait. You can add some kind of anecdotes to make your writing more interesting. Another thing that I liked was that you clearly addressed your will in the last sentence. You looked confident about your future. Overall, it was a good piece of writing.
ReplyDeleteThis is Park Hee-june. It was very specific. Your explain about yourself is simple and I like the examples. I like the last part, because your conviction of future is nice. But I think it's too stiff. I mean, it's too formal. However, your writing is good.
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